phew.

so i saw the nutritionist today and to make a long story short i should just be able to eat like a normally would. for some reason i just didn't trust this glucose test. it seems a little absurd to me, so i did a little experiment myself. i would NEVER eat that much in sugar and carbs, so i got my monitor, starting testing and ate normal for a couple days. and voila, my numbers are great. basically they want you under 120 2 hrs. after you eat. my range as been 85-100 with me eating like a would with just minor tweaks. like last night i had a huge bowl of pasta but skipped the roll. apparently i should have eaten the roll b/c i was 88 after. THAT i feel is more accurate. so i think the test is a crock :) and asked the nutritionist about it. i guess b/c i do normally eat pretty good my usual diet will still work. i need to eat more on a schedule (easy enough) and she said it's trial and error when it comes to what my body can handle. she gave me a set meal plan-- broken down to how many servings of carbs, protein, fat, etc. for every meal, but after she saw my numbers for the past few days basically told me i didn't have to follow it. phew. measuring seemed like a real pain. granted, if i had crazy numbers i would have done it. something just didn't feel right about it all, so i'm glad i tried it my way. i figured if my numbers were outrageous with a normal day that would prove that yes, kara, you do in fact need to watch EVERY little thing you eat. i just wasn't buying it.

i did lose a lb from 2 weeks ago and the nutritionist said that's actually pretty normal after you find out you have this b/c people "freak out." yea, that was me. she definitely wants me gaining more weight (since i started out underweight i should gain 30-40 lbs--yea, right) about a lb a week which would put me at about 27 lbs. she was putting me on a 2000 calorie a day "diet" but she's letting me eat what i want. i go back in 2 weeks and take another look. sometimes as the pregnancy goes along your body has a harder time, so we'll see. if my numbers are still could maybe i would only have to test once or twice a day, and maybe eventually just when i feel like i need to.

then i saw dr. patronella, who says i'm growing perfectly, fin's heartbeat was great, my blood pressure was great and she's not worried at all that finley's getting too big. so all in all, good news. i feel a huge sense of relief (this has been in the back of my head since last week) and just want to make sure i'm doing the best for finley. but i also really want a cupcake at my shower this weekend. pair a carb with a protein so a cupcake and a couple pieces of cheese should do the trick. :)

ugh.

well 3 hrs, 4 pricks and one terribly disgusting glucose drink later come to find out i do in fact have gestational diabetes. i had a feeling since the beginning that for some reason i would have this. it's almost funny (almost) that i've NEVER had to watch what i eat in my 27 years of living. i've been extremely fortunate to be able to eat whatever i want and now is the time that everyone says "you get to eat whatever you want! you're eating for 2!" i actually can't. like i said, almost funny. i've done some research about it and it's really not the end of the world, it's just a little overwhelming at the moment. the risk is that i'll have a big baby. weird, huh? i mean for me it's kinda weird. i don't fit any of the criteria for people at risk except that i'm over 25 (excessive weight gain? nope. history of diabetes in the family? nope. obese? nope). it does not mean she will have diabetes or that i still will after she's born. all should be back to normal once she comes. and when i was leaving the doctor's office here is a conversation i had with the receptionist:

receptionist: "so did you pass?"
me: "nope"
r: "really?? you look like the poster for health. so thin and in shape. i can't believe it!"
me: "yep, just not my day."
r: "wow."
at this point i almost jumped over the counter. clearly she couldn't tell i had just cried in front of the nurse so i don't need her to tell me how surprising this is.

i'm only letting myself sulk for the afternoon. then i'll snap out of it. we've got way too many other things to be thankful for to let this bug me this much. it sucks, yes, but there are certainly worse things. there's nothing i did to cause this. i know this, i just need an afternoon to be mad. i told erin it's my karma for having such a smooth pregnancy thus far.

so i have to change my diet a bit (eat quite a few small meals throughout the day instead of just 3 big ones) and check my blood sugar 4 times a day. i see the nutritionist on tuesday for more details. till then i keep track of what i'm eating and she'll show me how to check my sugar. after reading about it and see what's recommended to eat it's actually not that different from what i already eat. i was actually trying to eat better with her anyways, now it's just a matter of really paying attention to it. and cut out sweets. you know i love me some sweets, but i'll do anything to make sure she's as healthy as possible. somebody just make sure to get me a big bag of reeses for after. and not like the minis, the real reeses. i already told brandon to make sure he gets some cadbury eggs for me to have after.

i can handle this for the next 10 weeks.

PB.

PB= pregnancy brain. this should be a real diagnosis. doctors should warn you that you will turn into a stranger. a stranger who is unorganized, forgetful, and ditsy. I pride myself at work that I remembe EVERYTHING about my kids. Who's allergic to what, who doesn't get along with who, who rides what bus, who's mom wants to hear every detail about everything, where I put something 5 seconds ago, you get the drift. this year i'm like another person. it's so bad even a couple administrators have said something to me. not like in a bad way, just "kara, that's not like you." don't worry, i'm still completely capable of being charge of a room full of 6 year olds, but thank goodness they keep me on track.

there was also the time i thought my car was completely broken in the driveway and had a friend come pick me up and bring me to work. only to discover that my car just needed gas. i've NEVER missed the light that comes on.

and the other day tamara had to convince me that i am in fact 27 years old. she's only a few days older than me, but i still didn't believe her. who does that?

several people had told me that my brain will not return to me. eh, i'll get used to it.