Friday, June 3, 2011

confession.

so i had this weird fear when i was pregnant that when i met fin for the first time i would think "who are you?" like what if i didn't have that instant connection. i mean she was with me for 9 months, but actually seeing her face to face, i was worried i wouldn't KNOW her. i asked brandon several times before having her if he thought she'd feel like ours. luckily as soon as i saw her i knew she was our finley. she was exactly who i thought she'd be. so tiny and perfect and well, finley. i knew instantly she was meant to be ours.

i also now understand why mom was is so obsessed with erin and me. worrying all the time, just wanting to be with us, protecting us, you know, the mom thing. she always said i would understand someday, and well, i do now. i HATE being away from fin, even at night with her in her crib. i know she's just sleeping, but i like to be with her. all the time. i was at a pool party last night with the girls from work who are hilarious. fin came with me for a bit, but brandon picked her up on his way home since it was so hot. the entire time i was thinking about her and left way earlier than i normally would have. i just wanted to be home with brandon and fin, which may sound boring, but it's quite perfect actually.

i think i figured out why i can't fall back asleep after her 3:00/4:00 AM feeding. i can't wait to start the day with her. i just want to hang out with her and talk to her and teach her and snuggle with her. 

so even though it's only been about 7 weeks, i just don't remember what life was like without her. she made her way into this family like she's always been here. keeping smiles on our faces (even when she cries, b/c we know she's fine....plus she snorts) and keeping us on our toes. she's the best.

2 comments:

  1. i am sort of in love with KK's snorts. and by "sort of" i mean absolutely.

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  2. Soooo sweet! you're becoming quite the writer!!! :) ps I heart her snorts too!

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